I does come before U

For a long time now, I've been feeling little, heavy at heart.

Reasons are either several or few, doesn't matter, fact is - discomfort!

I love people, most would know by now, if there is one thing I cherish - its my people.

Being accused of thinking too much, caring too much or saying too much did not seem to affect me, what bothered me was expecting me to take responsibility to what others understand, Boss - wait a second.. I am responsible for my words and actions alone, not for your interpretations.

King & I had a good long conversation after a long time, we both could start from where we stopped, reason - we both realized that its fair to be away, to give space and even be angry.

Here is what I told him, and I'm happy that such a sane thought came to me - if one has to co-exist with another, alterations and adjustments need to be made, which will provoke anger. And, anger any day is better than ego.

I so believe in it, If I am mad with you, wouldn't you rather prefer me to come to you and express it, than bury it, but move away and create distance because my ego is not letting me be clear and candid.

Well this is debatable, it really depends on the subject -matter and person.

If I need the person, ego is distanced. If i don't, ego obviously prevails, for I can eliminate the person.

Life is the way you look at it, lies in the eyes of the beholder.

It seemed intense and complicated till i shed a tear or two, it then seemed easy. Now, I don't know, is Life really simple? or has it always been complicated, but we choose not worry about it, just brush it and assume easy....

All this, and much more felt heavy only because I did not know how to prioritize my thoughts.

It comes very naturally to me to put others ahead of me, I had forgotten the whole wonderful meaning of "me".

As I said earlier today in a conversation with Amar and email to Kambi - treating Bygones as Bygones, is helping me move ahead to see what freshness can be brought in to ease the "me" space.

Through out this journey of juggling my head with weighing words of wisdom, Raksha made me let lose and Raghu made think beyond, what would I ever do without him...

Its "me" time folks, so random thoughts in my head all flow down to my fingers to words here in front of you.

Killing Time

Oh baby!! So typical of us to complaint, doesn't matter if there is ample work or not.
Too much work - Yes we nag, don't lie now. Too much time - OH ya, we SULK big time.

Now, whoever said " Time is money" or "Time once lost, never returns" said it right.
Going back to my MAT LEAVE , Pre-Raksha, I did a lot of Crochet. Post Raksha after my parents returned to India, I'm indulging in making Cards, Bags and invites. Such a Stress Buster, I can't tell you how much am loving it.

Raghu is such a Darling, needless to say, he has been letting me buy all my tools for using paper appropriately, I still have about $200 to spend on. But I'm not gonna buy until I return from India, who knows I might find my stuff there.

I am going to hand pick some recycled material to bring them back here for my craft work.
And then, my creative juices would start flowing, which only means, all my favourite people will get one piece of work from me.

Attempt to Lose weight

Most of you know me as a plump person for a while now. How many of you recall the Skinny me until Mid School??

Ya...for over 15 years I have been on the plus side, I woke up one day and had this inner voice that said "its now or never". Thats it, I woke up,wore my gym pants, drove to the community centre and took a 3 month Membership on Feb 11, 2010. Two weeks later I googled for a HOT YOGA place and so lucky, I found one close to home. Feb 24th onwards I have been doing that as well.. which means my trip to the gym has gone down.

Ahh..Na Na..Am not complaining, I at least get to move now, and I am all Happp Haappp Happy!!